Thanks to Netflix’s “Long Wait” finally disappearing on the new “Battlestar Galactica” spin-off “Caprica,” I got a chance to check out the DVD version of the pilot episode. After reading a few live blogs over at United Monkee and elsewhere on the web over the past few weeks, I thought I’d try my hand at one while watching “Caprica.” It’s a bit choppy and full of knee-jerk reactions, but that means it’s full of outrageous, off the cuff observations! Huzzah!
Potential “BSG” and definite “Caprica” spoilers ahead, so be forewarned! And now, away we go…
58 years before the fall? Ok.
What?! Flashes of boobies and lesbian sex in the first couple minutes?
Why is this woman’s face turning into a wolf?!
Wait…it is a rave, lesbian sex and sacrificial murder club?!
Now a copied girl just “de-rezzed?!?” What the fuck is happening here?!
Oh…was it all a…virtual reality video game?! A holoband? I thought “Caprica” was just going to be the Rome of the future!
So, the one true god is worshiped by this girl Zooey?! And “so say we all” is their little cult’s religious saying.
Wow, silly future tennis court.
This Zooey chick has the most irritating mouth to watch talk. Already thinking I can’t watch this show if I have to look at those bizarre, over-acted movements.
Oh…now she is getting holo-high—more boobs and lesbian rave sex. And now, secret church, virtual chat room. AND TWO OF THE SAME HOLO-GIRL! Two irritating mouths.
Man, these “BSG” producers love having actors talk to copies of themselves.
Now these three cult kids are fleeing the country with passports.
Oh! Adama! I mean Adams. Good hat.
So…girl chickens out..and they are running away to Geminon? Will I end a single observation about this movie without a question mark?
Whoa, little Adama girl is totally racist against Taurons.
WTF?! Cult-boy-kid just suicide bombed himself in a subway?!?!
Cylon-maker-guy is upset about dead daughter. Grief drives him to create Cylons?! Grief fuels the human genocide? It is like…the drive for the show!
Soldiers of the One (the cult) has a call sign that is an infinite symbol? Does that make sense? Oh fuck, one infinitely knowing god. Ok, I get it.
“Our daughters both died in a suicide bombing. Wanna get some coffee? Wanna—maybe—cuddle?!”
Whoa! Crazy mom from HBO’s “Rome” is another, apparently crazy Mom talking about gods…roman, but BSG-future, gods. MADNESS! [Looked up later: It’s Polly Walker who played Atia of the Julii]
Manipulating her daughter again, I see. Some things never change in TV dramas!
Wait! Just realized that cylons are 1,000 years old or whatevs as explained in season 4.5 of BSG…so, how does Graystone (Greystone? Is he of British decent?) create them. Confused. But I guess that is the point of the show. [Looked up later: It’s Graystone, but I commence to switch on and off from “Gray” to “Grey” while writing all my notes because I thought it was funny.]
I’m already extremely tired of these little holodeck sunglasses.
So, there was a biofeedback protocol so a computer program of Zooey feels what Zooey felt…? Wait…is this “Ghost in the Shell?!” Kinda? More question marks? Will this ever become clear?
“I’m not a person, but I feel like one.” That reminds me of the “I’m not no one” line from the “Dollhouse” promo that I thought was dumb.
Adama is a crooked attorney?!
Whoa, Greystone has already made the first Cylon! And the graphics animating this primitive model are way better a la the Star Wars prequels.
Young Bill Adama is kinda boring. And apparently a Grandma’s boy! Oh, he disagrees with his dad. It is an Adama gene.
Graystone just went into his daughter’s holodeck-glasses and saw her lesbian-sex-murder-rave. Awkward.
Adama-girl was racist against Taurons but the Adamas are part Tauron. A tangled web!
There are these little BSG R2D2 things, but they talk in voices instead of beeps and boops, which makes them considerably less adorable than Artoo. I think they are early Cylons…I want some cute little cylons.
Graystone invented the holoband/internet…he’s like Al Gore!
So, the one true god gave Zooey the ability to create life? I hope they have a good handle on their religion this time, ’cause delving much deeper into this might get weird/heavy-handed/bad.
Human brain is a computer analogy…I have heard this one too many times of late.
Zooey’s bangs may be the only thing in this show more annoying than her mouth movements. [See above image of her for a view of her annoying bangs.]
Oh, “Rome”-woman is a sister (like, nun-sister) not a mom. Still, role fits.
Oh man, delving into polytheism versus monotheism as political drama. They are beginning to tread dangerous metaphorical territory that could drag them down.
Adama (er…still Adams) is giving a speech about seeing flowers for the first time. I can feel the Adama magic here!
BSG-Artoo is named Surge…that reminds me of SURGE! Oh man, I miss it.
I think Graystone and Adama are forming a little bromance through their grief.
Virtual reality is going to be a massive part of this show. I’m not sure how I feel about that—seems it will allow everything to be made a metaphor.
More computer/brain metaphors?!
Ok, so Adama doesn’t like computer-daughters and Graystone does. I can see the Magneto/Xavier bromance-gone-wrong already beginning here.
Oh yeah, Graystone has a wife. She hasn’t been around much in this show…breakfast in bed is prolly the best way to break it to your wife that you are going to remake your computer-daughter into a robot-computer-daughter.
Nerdy friend of Zooey just cracked. But, she is telling the manipulative “Rome” woman! Cue manipulation!
Oh noes! Adama is succumbing to the drug that is fake-computer-daughter-brought-back-from-the-dead!
…oh, she didn’t come back right and Adama is not pleased. I need an Adama to punch someone in this show or yell more sternly. Alas, I’ll keep waiting.
Greystone just got told off by a computer-daughter-program-thing. Pwned!
Oh fuck, he just put computer-daughter in an early cylon model! When his daughter gets pissed at him…that is not gonna be good.
Robo-daughter Fail!
They aren’t Adams anymore! They’re Adama! It took his compudaughter failing for him to become proud of his heritage. Sad? Sweet? Sweet and sour chicken?!
Cylon with stolen technology is a fuckin’ mackdaddy of killing BSG-Artoos!
People really hate Taurons. Like, a lot. For no evident reason, so far.
Robo-daughter lives! Epic Win…or cue “Padme!” screams?!
—–
Well, in hindsight that “Ghost In The Shell” comment was pretty right on as a young girl ended up in a robot body…and that is EoP’s very first live blog! Hope you enjoyed it, especially as I’m sure this post format will crop up again when I have something to watch.
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